How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
