Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize