shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
