I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
50% drunk capacity currently
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
