You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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