There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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