What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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