fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
