There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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