what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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