Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
