im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
