Whod you bang
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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