yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
