normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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