Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
