I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
