in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
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