At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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