My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
