Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
