From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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