Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
