Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This is my gift to your gina
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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