maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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