fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
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The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
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you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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