There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
