**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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