but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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