I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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