She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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