i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
