well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri