Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
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I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes