ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You made out with two different species that night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
