i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
