I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
