I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
