Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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