listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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