Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
