The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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