im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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