So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
