Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
