There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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