Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
