Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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