Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize