Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
