A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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