she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
