pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
