I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
