im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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