I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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