i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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