One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
