Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
