going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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