Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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