Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
