I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
